Wednesday, June 16, 2004
Mind is a terrible thing
My band is on process of recording our first disc, so if you want to hear them let me know and sure I will ask you for money, no kidding, well I'm hoping that it don't sounds like amateruish, but what can you do, we D.I.Y-it because is the only way we have and know right now, far away the best way.
The scene here by the way is strange pretty damn strange, you can't play a gig on a venue so easy, you have to be a ''well known band'', if you aren't go back to the basement parties and stuff like that, I'm not against those parties(in fact I've played them a lot, even more than venues), but they will have to be more organized at least or even take them more seriously by the bands and the guys who make them, maybe I sound egomaniac, but believe me if this wasn't like it is, you should problably get more interested on your band to play.
But some people just don't care, I know it have seem them, with all their prejudgments and stuff like that, trying to ''re-invent'' music, like it wasn't there all the time, but like Dr. Frank says: ''You can re-invent the wheel, if you don't even know what a wheel is''.
Last night I couldn't get a sleep, because thinking stupid strange things, like: it's my existence worthing?, in fact I know and I believe it worths , but sometimes you can't get a question out of your mind, questioning myself : does my existence is just a force of habit?, know I see that is not, but last night I couldn't slept without an answer, and then this panic attacks that I always get when I'm on this situation, but I controled them.
In fact I almost convinced that was no motivation for me on life, I mean if you say you don't have one, you are wrong, you have it, deep inside of yourself, you find it, I'm sure, but this time I was getting mad, In fact almost convinced myself that I don't like her anymore, but youu get to the point asking yourself; maybe I'm wrong, maybe I should calm down and wait for tomorrow, because sometimes you don't give a fuck about anything, because you get tired of all the same old crap and the same old trying to-be with someone(but most of the times you can't), so wasted and fulled with shit I got to sleep something at least for resting, I then a new day comes and forget everything you thought last night, but it wasn't this time!!, I woke up with the same stupid attitude that I was having, so I went out and start thinking: '' Hey if there's nothing you could get as motivation, so you have to make the motivation and make it happen, just for you and your own good'', and then you start the day's routine and start realizing that it comes to were far from the people and the world you are, maybe you are a total stranger to everybody and everybody thinks you are a grouch that always stays on the coach, but is not true!, you have your stuff to do and a lot of things to solve, people sometimes says to me: '' Hey you should act like everybody here, I mean who cares about somebody or anybody?'', when I hear that kind of stuff it's just stupid and pointless, so that means that I could give a shit about everything and don't care if my thoughts get disorder, ''You don't use honesty these days, you gotta be an smart-ass to live this days'', what can I sat I refuse to it.
The question is solved when I see that people this days don't give a crap about someone, and I realize that I can live myself as my way and that ''motivation'' is always a bad habit that we used ti have, but when we don't have it we miss a lot, you gotta live with it and knowing that there's motivation on you, but sometimes you don't even know what it is, or that was in front of your eyes all the time.
The scene here by the way is strange pretty damn strange, you can't play a gig on a venue so easy, you have to be a ''well known band'', if you aren't go back to the basement parties and stuff like that, I'm not against those parties(in fact I've played them a lot, even more than venues), but they will have to be more organized at least or even take them more seriously by the bands and the guys who make them, maybe I sound egomaniac, but believe me if this wasn't like it is, you should problably get more interested on your band to play.
But some people just don't care, I know it have seem them, with all their prejudgments and stuff like that, trying to ''re-invent'' music, like it wasn't there all the time, but like Dr. Frank says: ''You can re-invent the wheel, if you don't even know what a wheel is''.
Last night I couldn't get a sleep, because thinking stupid strange things, like: it's my existence worthing?, in fact I know and I believe it worths , but sometimes you can't get a question out of your mind, questioning myself : does my existence is just a force of habit?, know I see that is not, but last night I couldn't slept without an answer, and then this panic attacks that I always get when I'm on this situation, but I controled them.
In fact I almost convinced that was no motivation for me on life, I mean if you say you don't have one, you are wrong, you have it, deep inside of yourself, you find it, I'm sure, but this time I was getting mad, In fact almost convinced myself that I don't like her anymore, but youu get to the point asking yourself; maybe I'm wrong, maybe I should calm down and wait for tomorrow, because sometimes you don't give a fuck about anything, because you get tired of all the same old crap and the same old trying to-be with someone(but most of the times you can't), so wasted and fulled with shit I got to sleep something at least for resting, I then a new day comes and forget everything you thought last night, but it wasn't this time!!, I woke up with the same stupid attitude that I was having, so I went out and start thinking: '' Hey if there's nothing you could get as motivation, so you have to make the motivation and make it happen, just for you and your own good'', and then you start the day's routine and start realizing that it comes to were far from the people and the world you are, maybe you are a total stranger to everybody and everybody thinks you are a grouch that always stays on the coach, but is not true!, you have your stuff to do and a lot of things to solve, people sometimes says to me: '' Hey you should act like everybody here, I mean who cares about somebody or anybody?'', when I hear that kind of stuff it's just stupid and pointless, so that means that I could give a shit about everything and don't care if my thoughts get disorder, ''You don't use honesty these days, you gotta be an smart-ass to live this days'', what can I sat I refuse to it.
The question is solved when I see that people this days don't give a crap about someone, and I realize that I can live myself as my way and that ''motivation'' is always a bad habit that we used ti have, but when we don't have it we miss a lot, you gotta live with it and knowing that there's motivation on you, but sometimes you don't even know what it is, or that was in front of your eyes all the time.
# posted by David Siañez @ 9:10 PM 
